By Chris Goff
This has been a rough couple of weeks. On April 27, I was standing in my kitchen, atop the two-step ladder, when I stepped back to survey my handiwork of curated cabinets. Yes, stepped back. Yes, BAD MOVE!
After one BIG step down and a failed attempt at some fancy footwork, I slammed my left hand into the stove and took a glancing blow to my chin off the counter. A quick trip to the orthopedic urgent care, and I was scheduled for outpatient surgery. Two screws to hold things together, a club for a hand for two weeks, then six weeks of OT.
I will survive, but my stove is permanently dented.
THEN, for reasons only a higher power knows, five days later my husband (never one to be out done) loses his footing on a pile of broken-down cardboard boxes on the garage floor (another BAD MOVE) and takes a header into the recycling bin. One goose egg and broken right humerus bone later, he’s headed to the hospital—by ambulance. Two nights of in-patient care, a long plate and too many screws to count later, he’s home. No cast, but he can’t lift his arm over his head or lift more than five pounds for two weeks, then six weeks of OT.
He will survive, but his eye has blackened to the point where The Little Rascals have come calling asking if he can stunt double for Petey.
The bad news.
There are a few things that are nearly impossible to do one-handed, like:
Driving your husband to the hospital with a bleeding head and broken arm while dealing with a two-year-old grandson and a two-year-old Miniature Australian Labradoodle.
Tying your shoes.
Closing the car door and buckling your seatbelt.
Or opening the childproof cap on the medicine bottles! Want a pain pill? Good luck. Where’s the two-year-old? Or the hammer? Thank heavens for neighbors willing to come over in the wee hours of the night.
The good news.
We should both be good to go for our June trip to visit our daughter on Kauai.
We should both be good to go for our July trip to London, Scotland, the Shetland Islands, Norway, and Sweden (a makeup cruise for the bio-foul disaster of a cruise to New Zealand in December of 2022).
And, together we make a whole.
Chris Goff is the award-winning author of eight novels—six mysteries and two international thrillers. Her books have been finalists for Colorado Book Awards, Colorado Authors’ League Awards and Willa Cather Awards. In 2016, her debut thriller, Dark Waters, was a finalist for the 2016 Anthony Award for Best Crime Audiobook and took home a gold medal from the Military Writer’s Society of America. A former journalist, Goff is a long-standing member of multiple writing organizations and currently serves on the executive board of the International Association of Crime Writers. When not hard at work, she can often be found gallivanting around the world in search of stories and adventure.